Mob Wars

There are a big load of losers out there in the world of online cyber games...

Most of them play Mob Wars on facebook applications.

:o)

My Computer

It’s funny (It really isn’t that funny)…

Normally I have absolutely nothing to say when I begin these things and then I manage to ramble on for rather a long time about absolutely nothing.

Today is going to be an exception, I have a boring topic of a broken computer and I don’t think I am even gonna write half the amount I normally would!

So if it is short and dull… sorry.

If I do manage to make it long, I am sure it will be long and dull.

I have just spent the last 24 hours updating all of my SpyWare/AdWare/Firewall/Antivirus protection for my laptop, which is accompanying me around the world… This is because I downloaded Limewirea couple of days ago and within about 3 minutes of starting it I managed to pick up a virus or 3 and had lots of problems with everything! (I was attempting to get a copy of GTA Vice City)

Anyway, my subscription to Norton 360 was running out of date and I thought maybe I should investigate alternative options, especially as I wasn’t really that much of a fan of its usability, or the fact that it liked to crash every week, or that it was just generally shit… I must point out in its defence though that my computer is still alive which is a mystery to me, after the amount of music/film/games/porn I have tried to download in the 3 years I have owned this machine!

So thanks Norton for that!

Well, I had a look around, as originally I just wanted to try and fix the immediate problems and ended up stumbling on a website advertising free antivirus, etc…

Avast! Was the name of the program, and I thought I would investigate what was being said about it. Everything appeared Kosher and I realised it is also the antivirus Suzi uses on her laptop too, so I continued into the realms of fully uninstalling Norton…

Easy enough

Next download and installation of Avast! No problems thus far… In fact after a complete scan of my system, which took over an hour, it even discovered a couple of problems that Norton had missed. After start up, everything seemed ok.

Avast!

It was this point that I realised that Avast! was without a firewall… after further investigation I then found info on a couple of other free applications including a free firewall called ZoneAlarm. Again I investigated to find how safe this was gonna be to my computer. All reports I found were good, but this is where I made a mistake. I forgot to check the compatibility of all the products I was installing with each other. (more on that later).

I finally had all I thought I needed in place to get started and to make my computer super safe.

I tentatively rebooted my computer.

I must mention I began this whole process of “fixing” my laptop at around 8pm. By now it was probably about 1am.

Laptop fully booted…

Limewire manages to get the firewall up, even though it says it is allowed. MSN messenger just dies a death. Internet locks up.

NOTHING WORKS!

Luckily I wasn’t too worried and decided the best form of resolution was close down Limewire, as I was sure this was the thing that was killing everything, which seemed to be right. In fact I was so pissed off with Limewire and its computer killing power I decided to remove it completely.

Ok, so internet after about 10 minutes decided it did still want to function. And I was feeling pretty good about all the hard work I had put in to get it working. But what I failed to notice while I was cheerfully checking my facebook updates was MSN Messenger… Still dead…

So, I said about 1am at last time check. Add about another half hour for me faffing about and realising still problems.

It was after 5am I decided to give up trying to find a fix for these problems. It appears that nothing free works with anything else free very well.

Never mind, I thought and went to bed.

I have just realised that I thought I had nothing to say at the start but in fact I seem to have said rather a lot about nothing. Also, apologies to anyone that has no interest in the technical side of computing, I don’t really either, but the last few days I have had very little choice.

Ok, so next “morning”, I got up and decided to resolve this all after all… my first plan was to add another anti-spyware program, called Spybot. Which I did… This required yet another entire system scan which revealed that I had around 200 ad/spyware programs on my laptop.

Now, I don’t know if that is a lot, but it sounds like a lot to me!

I was sure now my friendly little mobile PC was going to have a new lease of life after this, but guess what? He was still not a happy bunny.

And this is where I am now really.

I have removed my firewall, and am running only on Avast! Which I am under the impression will be OK for now. I have found out after a long day of frustration that Avast! and ZoneAlarm do not like each other and also that my laptop is officially knackered.

---

Did you ever watch He-man? Or Jerry Springer?

I would like to finish in the style of Adam, Prince of Eternia, by saying…

No matter how hard you try to fix one problem, if you have lived a bad life there will always be another problem around the corner, but if you are a good person you will find these problems have a way of solving themselves. So don’t corrupt your PC or yourself by downloading pornography.







And in the words of Jerry…

"Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other."

Nicoteen

It was a few years ago when a few friends and I, at one of my old jobs, came up with this idea...

We even had one of the girls we worked with interested in being the "star"! I think it was the offer of free cigarettes (and a big cut of the profits).

Anyway, I thought I would share this with you all. Enjoy!

(black background)

Text over:
"Presented by the BeanOlogy collective"

(zippo opens with long painted nails)

Voice Over:
A new star is born

(zippo lights)

A face not only for the future

(focus on lighter/flame. female face out of focus in background)

But a face for now

(Cigarette burning down with female dragging it)

(black background)

Text over:
(overlapped*)"She/It may not be big"

(smoke rings)

(black background)

Text over:
(overlapped*)"She/It may not be clever"

(cut to another drag)

(black background)

"NICOTEEN"

(giggle)

(pan down corset back)

Voice Over:
She’s smoking

(lacing at bottom of corset undoes itself)

She’s fiery

(low-slung panties reveal butt crack)

and She’s here for only $5.95 a month

(smoke ring heart & arrow)

(20 secs of body shots)

(giggles)

(close up of lips)

Nico: Come inside!

(black background)

"NICOTEEN"

"www.nicoteen.com"

My dream stopped when I found out the URL was not available.